Ty, placed in an open adoption at birth, visiting his birthmom, Elizabeth.

Alternatives counseling is discussing and planning how to prepare for your child. This service is available free of charge to pregnant and/or parenting women and their partners.

Alternatives the counselor will help you investigate are abortion, financial aid and programs available through New Mexico Human Services Dept. and the Children, Youth and Families Dept., temporary foster care, support from your extended family and adoption.

The Choices program can assist you in obtaining prenatal care, housing, financial aid from New Mexico Human Services Dept., information on educational opportunities and transportation.

It is important to plan for your child. This takes time and should be started as early in your pregnancy as possible.

RESPONSIBLE PARENTING

Involves long term planning for your child...
...education regarding children’s needs
...being realistic and honest about your
ability to provide food, clothing, shelter,
love, patience, security and stability for
your child
...developing support systems of people to
help you during difficult times
...taking good care of YOURSELF!

COUNSELING

A counselor who has worked with many mothers regarding parenting alternatives can best understand your feelings of frustration, ambivalence, guilt, grief and loss. The staff at the Choices program counsels hundreds of birthparents each year and has developed a counseling program that encourages individual decision making and recognition of the alternatives available.

HOW IS CHOOSING ADOPTION BEING A GOOD PARENT?

The reasons birthparents have for placing children for adoption are varied. Almost all are based in a deep desire to provide their child with a better life or better chance. This is a decision that requires birthparents to set their own needs and wishes aside and put their children’s needs first.

Birthparents must sincerely believe they are unable to provide an emotionally and financially stable environment for their children. This is a personal decision. Some birthparents cannot provide food and shelter. Others can meet these basic needs, but feel additional opportunities they cannot provide are essential for their child’s well being. Both are valid reasons for choosing adoption and reflect responsible parenting.

WHAT IS OPEN ADOPTION?

Open adoption can include any or all of the following:

choosing the adoptive family, either from the agency’s pool or identifying a family you have personal contacts with

meeting with this family

exchanging information and pictures with the family and child for 18 years

negotiating visits with the family and child for 18 years

DO I HAVE TO DO AN OPEN ADOPTION TO WORK WITH CHOICES?

No. You can choose a closed adoption, with the knowledge that you may return to request additional information and contact at a later date.

HOW OPEN IS ‘OPEN ADOPTION’?

You can decide how much contact and future communication you desire with your child and the adoptive family. If you do not want an open relationship in the beginning, you may return and request additional information and contact at a later date.

HOW LONG AFTER THE ADOPTION CAN I RECEIVE COUNSELING AT CHOICES?

We believe adoption is a lifetime decision, and every birthparent has experiences that raise adoption issues later in life, i.e. birth of another child, marriage, death of a family member, sharing the adoption experience with significant others, etc. In each case birthparents are best served if they can return to their counselor and release feelings of sadness and reaffirm their decisions to place their children for adoption. With this in mind the Choices program makes counseling available to birthparents for 18 years following placement and encourages each to use the service during difficult times.

WILL MY MEDICAL BILLS BE PAID?

Yes. New Mexico adoption law allows the adoptive family to provide for any/all pregnancy related medical expenses. Your counselor will help you apply for any public assistance you may be eligible for in this area. The agency can also assist you with communicating your placement plan to your doctor and/or health insurance provider.

CAN I RECEIVE ASSISTANCE WITH MY LIVING EXPENSES?

Yes. New Mexico adoption laws allow pregnant women to receive assistance with rent, groceries, utilities, clothing, transportation and medical expenses. The amount of the assistance is dependent on the identified adoptive family’s resources. Your counselor will also help you identify public assistance programs that might be helpful to you.

DO I HAVE TO KNOW I AM PLACING MY BABY FOR ADOPTION TO RECEIVE COUNSELING?

No. This is an opportunity for you to investigate all your parenting resources and alternatives.

IS COUNSELING REQUIRED FOR ADOPTION?

Yes. The New Mexico adoption laws require two sessions prior to relinquishment of parental rights for a woman under the age of 18 years and one session if she is older than 18 years.

However, the Choices staff believes an adoption decision should be made with more than the one or two counseling sessions that are required.

Specialists in personalized adoption plans, community resources and counseling.

Copyright © 2000 Choices Adoption & Counseling Services, Inc.